Fighting Former Presidents

I had too weird of a dream to not write it up. I think I've read and thought about cyber ninjas too much. (In progress Black Hack cyber ninja game wooo)

Using foul magics, an unknown group tried to kill me and my son. We investigated, and found out who the nefarious bastards were: George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. We confronted them in my high school library, where they were idly surfing the internet. I asked if we could take things outside, to reduce civilian casualties, and they agreed. We met across the street, in a golf course (not actually across the street from my high school library).

"I want to thank you two for coming," I said, as Lincoln struck a kung fu pose. He nodded graciously, smiling. "But I can't thank you for your attempt on my life, on my son's life!" I shouted. His visage was filled with rage. He charged me.

I remember fighting him off. I was thrown into the air by Washington, but in true anime ninja style, I pushed off the air and rocketed down at him, feet first. Just before I could crush him, Lincoln grabbed my ankles and held me aloft by them. He laughed cruelly.

Washington went after my son, and Lincoln, though weighed down by me, began swinging me about like a club.

He eventually tired of trying to hit my son with me, and hurled me away. When I recovered and rushed back, they were holding my son down, trying to break his knee. I superman leapt at Washington. I slammed into him and the sky and green tumbled around us. We found ourselves in a sand trap, grappling.

Washington drew a 1911 pistol from his coat and I grabbed his wrist just as he fired. Sand exploded around me as the gun fired again and again. With my free hand I grabbed his throat and crushed it. Washington died with a surprised look on his face. I took up his gun.

Lincoln was grappling my son as I rose from the trap.

"It's over, Lincoln!"

He pushed away from my boy (obligatory God of War BOI yell). He stood up, glaring at me.

"You don't understand. Four score and seven years ago, a great prophesy -"

I shot Lincoln in the chest. I didn't need to hear why he was in the right. I just needed to save my son.